essay #1 ver2

1 files changed, 29 insertions, 30 deletions

diff --git a/application/06_tech_essays b/application/06_tech_essays
index e1863ef..da7dea5 100644
--- a/application/06_tech_essays
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@@ -5,47 +5,47 @@ Each are 50--300 words.
 Why do you want to study your chosen major [Computer Science and
 Mathematics] specifically at Georgia Tech?
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-Project Euler first enamored me with the wonderful world of
-computational mathematics.
-The majors I want to study at Georgia Tech, Computer Science and
-Mathematics, both deal in "problems."
-In either research or most genuine productive work, these "problems" are
-of large (sometimes indefinite) scope, but Project Euler's mini-problems
-mimic the problem-solution cycle that so stimulates my mind.
->> "stimulates the mind" sounds like it's from the 1890s because
->> Sherlock Holmes said it (about cocaine), but I don't know how to
->> replace it.
-I yearn to work on this variety of problems with more structure than
->> "variety" in the sense of "sort"
-autodidactically.
->> is this sentence out of place?
-As much as I enjoy the theory in either of these fields, the legitimate
-products derived from the completion or progress of a problem are far
-more rewarding, and I want to continue working on these sorts of
-problems in Tech's great academic and social environment.
+"You should check out this website. It's called Project Euler," my
+friend Holden told me in fourth grade.
+>> feels like a humble-brag
+Project Euler is a list of math puzzles that require a computer to
+solve, and I fell in love with the problem-solution paradigm.
+Project Euler's "challenges" require experimentation, careful critical
+thought and develop general and domain understanding.
+I have worked with much more complex systems than the mini-problems
+Project Euler presents, but the identify-fix-check debugging modality
+fits the "problem" paradigm remarkably, as does exploratory mathematics.
+I want to major in Computer Science and Mathematics at Georgia Tech
+because both subjects deal in this sort of problem, and I want to
+continue innovating and exploring in this analytical paradigm.
 
-I've been fortunate to take classes from some great professors at Tech
->> "take classes" -> learn?
-like Dr. Greg Mayer, who is just brilliant.
-His individual enthusiasm and clarity alone motivates me to go to Tech,
-but the atmosphere he cultivates represents the institution as a whole.
->> I want to add more here, but I'm not sure what
+Through Tech's Dual Enrollment program, I've been fortunate to take
+classes from some great professors at Tech, especially in math.
+In my second year of Dual Enrollment, my teacher Dr. Mayer organized a
+class conference to help develop our sense of how combinatorics fits
+into the wider world.
+As he walked around the room, he was genuinely interested in each and
+every project's presentation of a unique problem space.
 
 I've also been part of a small number groupchats run by Tech students
 for specific classes or for this year's online-only situation, and I
 have seen one of the most supportive and honorable student groups I
 could envision.
-One student has so much trust in the Tech community that they have given
-away their personal credentials to the class textbook.
->> fraud??
+The math class-specific groups I'm a member of is extremely deliberate
+about not sharing answers but still enthusiastically share hints about
+the fundamental course material.
 Another group organizes weekly virtual movie nights, a heartwarming
 display of the overwhelmingly supportive and positive Tech community.
-I sincerely hope I can continue to participate in this fantastic group.
+I sincerely hope I can continue to participate in this welcoming
+institutional culture, especially through the in-person activities like
+the student-run hackathons.
+>> The hackathons are a footnote. Is that okay?
 
 >> pfft these aren't unique to Tech, good professors and good students?
 >> I mean, this is entirely true, but do I need to mention the
 >> institutional stuff like competitions, hackathons, etc, or would that
 >> come off as insincere?
+>> probably include, but there's no room (... words)
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 All applicants must choose one of the two questions below:
@@ -63,8 +63,6 @@ I like (1).
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 >> Recommendation I'm going off of: talk about something you've worked
 >> on.
->> !!WARNING!! This is WAY insufficiently revised: I've heard that every
->> word should have importance, and..uh..they don't.
 >> There also isn't a hook or anything here.
 >> Is this a bit too ideologuey or is that appropriate to the question?
 I love freedom.
@@ -102,4 +100,5 @@ Like Wikipedia opening up encyclopedic information to everyone, the
 "democratization" of geographic data improves widespread groups'
 condition, and I want to help, by contributing my effort to making
 people more free.
+>> make the Wikipedia bit bigger
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