added comments on the essay that was graded

1 files changed, 17 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/markley/essayone.tex b/markley/essayone.tex
index aafe39b..e36e790 100644
--- a/markley/essayone.tex
+++ b/markley/essayone.tex
@@ -106,5 +106,22 @@ The hypocritically unhealthy characters of these stories are abnormal,
 given the implicit assumption that most people follow mores, and they
 are therefore surprising, difficult to explain, and ``strange.''
 
+% Original comments on essay
+\iffalse
+This essay is well written. I think you have some organizational issues.
+You tend to separate the set up of your evidence from the evidence and
+analysis. You need to refer to the uneven u lecture or PPT. Think about
+it this way: you want to introduce your topic sentence, explaining what
+text you will cite from and what you want to direct the reader's
+attention to in that passage. Then you explain the passage itself:
+Utterson says x here. Then the passage. From there, you always need to
+give analytic statements that explain what the passage means, what you
+think it means and how it relates to concepts like the strange, and then
+finally how this helps you to define strange as you say "a
+contradiction." I think your thesis is interesting, but it would have
+been even better if you could link somehow the idea of contradiction
+directly to the idea of health I asked you to address.
+\fi
+
 \printbibliography
 \end{document}