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diff --git a/markley/03_first_week_video b/markley/03_first_week_video
index 8fa5b9c..fb9b098 100644
--- a/markley/03_first_week_video
+++ b/markley/03_first_week_video
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ My Presentation
 Hi, I'm Holden Rohrer.
 I'm a Dual Enrollment student at Georgia Tech from Centennial High
 School in Roswell, Georgia.
-This year, I'm looking forward to taking Dr Markley's English 1102
+This year, I'm taking Dr Markley's English 1102
 focused on Medicine and Medical Instrumentation.
 
 I expect to utilise each of the WOVEN methods, but I believe I will
@@ -41,11 +41,14 @@ While I can develop my ideas exhaustively in long form written or oral
 communication, I often have trouble compressing ideas.
 This is clearest in visual communication most because images' or videos'
 visual design permit little explicit information.
-This type of quality is also less tangible, so I've been guilty of
+This modality is also less tangible, so I've been guilty of
 ignoring it, deferring to content instead.
 This results in presentationworthy but boring templated or
 black-and-white visuals.
+For example, in 10th grade, I presented a very dense and offputting,
+black-and-white PowerPoint template-based science fair poster
 
-This year, I plan to deliberately focus on the visual flexibility of the
-Wordpress reading journal's design and content to improve my sense for
-how readers view it, at first glance and while using it.
+This year, I want to deliberately focus on the visual flexibility that
+the Wordpress reading journal's design and content offer to improve my
+sense for how it impacts readers, particularly from an aesthetic
+standpoint.